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Labyrinthum Mod ([personal profile] labyrinmods) wrote in [community profile] buttrinthum2023-01-01 04:59 pm
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TDM #1


Arrival / Enchanted Garden

Whether it be sleep or death, you feel your eyes close, and as your body begins to let go, you see a barn owl that is flying through the darkness, soon sweeping you across the clouded sky. You feel yourself mouth the words, “I wish, I wish..” and utter your deepest and darkest desire.

When you regain consciousness, you’ll find you are in an unfamiliar place with no recognition of how you arrived here. You have the clothes on your back, but nothing else. No weapons and if you had a particular superpower, you’ll notice it is missing. All you have is a satchel with a piece of bread, a vial of water and a potion. The potion could be red, blue or golden. There are no instructions about these potions other than two words: Drink Me.

Will you drink it or not?

There is a parchment, handwritten, and it simply gives you a welcoming:

“Welcome to my Labyrinth. Per our agreement, you have consented to live your life here for an undetermined amount of time. In exchange, I will grant you the wish that you desire the most.”

You’re in a garden, surrounded by flowers and plants– most of which you cannot identify. However, there are a few that you can make out: poinsettias and mistletoe. You’ll soon find out that being around the poinsettias give you an odd sense of joy no matter how confusing the situation may seem and the mistletoe, which is left over from the holiday season, gives you the desire to kiss or hold hands with the nearest person to you. It looks like there are plenty of others who are just now waking up from their dream-state as well.. why not go ahead and say hello?

Somnius / Snow Angels

With the influx of new life, the humble town a barkeep tells you is called Somnius seems to come alive as well, with new faces to join that of the resident fairies, goblins and other townfolk. There’s bustling energy to the land that the townfolk will tell you wasn’t quite there before, and some suspect that the presence of the new arrivals might be powering the world around them in some way - but that’s a question to be answered on another day. The quaint town of Somnius needs a little bit of care, that rustic feel to the mushroom houses, old shops and weathered castles too evident at first glance, but it’s not a bad place to live, as the locals will tell you. It almost seems like everything will be okay…

But of course, things are never so simple.

Whether you have been wandering around to get your bearings, talking to the locals or exploring your new humble (very humble) abode, you can expect to find mysterious ice sculptures - fashioned in the shape of snow angels, with blades in their hands - appearing in random places around the town. There are some that manifest in the middle of the street, some that sit quietly at the edge of an inn, and even some that appear right beside your bed, staring at you as you wake up. It’s unclear how these sculptures even got here, but close proximity to them will conjure up feelings of unrest, like you should not step any closer.

It’s smart to trust your gut in these situations. Step too close to a snow angel and it will come to life, moving with the grace of flowing water. They make a vague request and will spare only those able to heed it.

“Cold … so cold … Even the days of Visium are so cold. Have you any warmth to spare us?”

Some angels will accept an article of clothing as warmth. Others are greedy and keep demanding more, wanting to take everything that you have on your body. Heed their requests and they will spare you. Resist even just a little, and that’s when they draw their swords.

It’s not too easy to defeat an angel with brute force given that they reform themselves immediately. Running away or blasting them with fire could do the trick. Be careful not to get cut by their blades, however…

Characters who get cut by their blades will experience an inconsolable sense of chill and emptiness, right down to their bones. They will find themselves desiring ‘warmth’ from others in different ways - whether through physical contact, or affectionate words and gestures. There might be the few who go feverish in their desire for warmth. For those characters – the open fireplace is looking like a very tantalizing place to sit in right now (Yes, sit in, not by). They might even feel compelled to pull a friend in with them. That can’t be good for anyone…

The effects will only subside if the condition of receiving ‘warmth’ is met. This can be in the literal sense (physical warmth and intimacy) or figurative (feelings of love, acceptance and happiness).

Bonfire

When night falls, the temperatures only drop further, which does no favours for the poor souls who had to give up their clothing. The locals want to welcome the new arrivals and give everyone an opportunity to unwind from a busy and chaotic day of being hunted by snow sculptures. That’s why they’ve set up a gathering in the middle of town square. Food and alcohol is being generously supplied by The Cask & Anvil, and marketplace vendors have set up pop up stands to try and cajole the new arrivals into purchasing some fancy new clothes or a pretty gemstone they claim will ward off danger (claims not verified).

At the center of it all is a large bonfire that’s warming up the square. Everyone is encouraged to warm themselves by it after a long day, eat, and make merry. In fact, there’s a certain sense of enchantment to the crackling fire that seems to draw even the shiest wallflower in, pushing them to sit with others and make conversation. As the night goes on, the newly arrived dreamers will find themselves settling easily into the warm and bustling mood, any stresses and anxieties melting away. With time, they’ll start to find themselves without a filter, more than happy to talk about themselves and the life they had led prior to coming to Visium. In fact, they will feel compelled to share a story from their past - one that might be joyous, comedic, thrilling, or tragic. Whatever sorts of feelings come attached to their story, it will be one of emotional significance.

In the back of their minds, they might get the sense someone else is listening.

OOC

Welcome to the [community profile] labyrinthum TDM! Characters will arrive depowered and with only their clothing, and will be given a satchel with a crystal pendant, a communication device, some water and bread and a magic potion. If they drink the potion, they will manifest an elemental, healing or animal transformation ability.

With the exception of Castle Vaeros, characters are free to go as they please, so feel free to place them in any of the locations available on the map. Yes, this includes the Labyrinth - though characters will not be able to clear the maze. Please comment here to request an outcome for your character's labyrinth exploration and a moderator will get to you shortly. (The longest a character can stay in the Labyrinth is 3 days.)

You can find more information about the game here. Any questions regarding the TDM can go under the comment below.

lightguns: (I long to spend)

Zapper | Arcade Spirits: The New Challengers

[personal profile] lightguns 2023-01-02 02:40 am (UTC)(link)
Arrival

[ "I don't know. And several beers in, I still don't know. Maybe there isn't a solution. Just, uuugggh. I don't like compromising, especially when it comes to living my life. Even if it's the adult thing to do-- I wish! I wish I could just stay like I am, and really BE immortal!"

The young woman remembers shouting this in the middle of a conversation with her friend, although a feeling had seized her heart at that moment she made her wish that in hindsight makes her wonder what had possessed her. The manner of spirit doing the possessing though, though...]


...What the FUCK was in that drink?

[The obvious question that must be asked when you happened to make your wish while depressed drinking at an e-sports bar, before promptly seeing a bird in flight and losing consciousness. Zapper didn't even remember what the type of beer was to begin with. Pressing the heel of her palm against her forehead, trying to think, she glances around at everyone there, then squints at her letter and the red potion. The wish? What ... that one? But that's impossible. It's so impossible it's silly...

She loves impossible and silly. Well, the poinsettias surrounding her may have something to do with it too, but still. The red of her hair and clothes makes her look very natural here. She might wave (showing off her Gamer Tattoos) at someone else who's nearby to see how they're dealing with all of this - there's so many people here with letters, after all.]


Hey, you know what any of this is about? Some kind of ARG? Don't tell me we all joined a cult.


Somnius

[At some point Zapper found her way here, and now that she's out of the gardens where it was mostly (I presume) other humans, she's rather agape at the muppety-ass townsfolk. Someone has clearly never been in a fantasy realm before, or exercised familiarity with the genre - it's been a couple hours since she found this place, so she's gotten hungry enough that she is now very casually partaking of the bread and potion that were in her satchel as she walks around. Actually, she stops in her tracks after a swig of the potion, blinking.]

This is so damn good!! [With a huge grin, she makes a finger gun at a random goblin, as if it was responsible for providing this to her (for all she knows everyone here is in on this?) ...But in her excitement, a tiny zap of lightning flies out from her fingertip. Insert Wilhelm Scream here while Zapper looks completely confused.] !?!

Snow Angels

[There's an angel wearing a bra swirling angrily around this fiery looking lady - Zapper was willing to help a little, but it got greedy, and now she demands satisfaction!]

You picked a fight with the wrong bitch, blizzard tits! I'm the Metalgeddon IV lightgun champion. Bring it on!

[Electric attacks are not as effective as fire, but her aim is highly efficient. Firing from both her fingers, the zaps are still tiny - however, she is aiming at its sword, a good conductor for the electricity! She may not be killing it, but it's having significant difficulty swinging at her, so this is kind of a stalemate.]

Rrghh... c'mon, die already! Die! DIE!

[She's having a great time! Will you break the tie? Point and laugh?]



Into The Fire

[Unsurprising that Zapper would have a few cuts after tempting fate like that, right? At some point she decided the city full of angels was too much of a pain to deal with and explored the labyrinth instead. The happiness she experienced at the delightful Pond Of Round Frogs was enough to stave off the bitter cold the entire time she was there, so she was almost able to ignore it, and she even came back with a cute friend as she joins the crowd at the big bonfire! The ice is slowly starting to spread again, but that's no reason not to mingle - maybe it's even more of a reason? She could find someone to talk about the past with... but with her past, that would just make her even colder, really. Instead, she's going up to a person who's standing close to the flames and hold out her buddy to them. She looks rather out of it.]

Hey, you wanna hold my frogger for a second? I have to go in...

[IN WHERE?! (It's the fucking fire. Of course. At least she doesn't want to endanger the friend but...) She's already backing up toward it, grinning as the heat tickles her back. It feels great!! She's SUPER casual about this!! Also, shivering.]

Aw, don't look so scared. This probably isn't real anyway, but if I'm wrong, welp! Making mistakes is sort of a hobby of mine to begin with. Someone's gotta be the object lesson, right? C'mon, take it.
violetlies: i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends? (And the soul that controls me)

arrival

[personal profile] violetlies 2023-01-02 02:47 am (UTC)(link)
ARG? ...Proooooobably not. Don't remember signing up for that. [Kokichi would remember. DICE has probably orchestrated at least a couple of those as side-projects. Just for fun.] Cult, though...that's still on the table.

[He waves the small parchment he got, giving it only one more glance.]

Something about granting our wishes in exchange for us staying here, so. We're at the mercy of this host of ours. Until we find him, maybe...buuuuuut he had the power to teleport us here, so hey. Might still be a lot to go up against.
lightguns: (so I just sit back and watch as)

[personal profile] lightguns 2023-01-02 03:33 am (UTC)(link)
Teleport? What? [as she groaned out earlier, she just assumed someone spiked her drink and hauled her off to wherever this is. A bit of a huff.]

Whatever, doesn't matter. It's enough that we were taken - the whole "you consented" thing is total bull, all I remember is wishing for something and then, randomly passing out. Not much room to agree in there.

But I dunno. This all seems kinda whimsical. I mean, a labyrinth? That makes it seem more like a game.
violetlies: So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test. (When you're on vacation)

[personal profile] violetlies 2023-01-02 03:45 am (UTC)(link)
[This is, unfortunately, not his first rodeo in this regard.] Yeah, I've done this song and dance before. Consenting to something, not knowing why, or how...'least nothing's trying to kill me right now. It's something we'll have to look into when we meet this host of ours.

[He snorts.] Sometimes truth is stranger than fiction. Maybe it's like a big game. Y'never know... [He hums.] By the waaaaaaaay. Did you get a potion?
lightguns: (wouldn't kick me up a notch)

[personal profile] lightguns 2023-01-02 04:31 am (UTC)(link)
Well, that sucks? At least you seem confident. [Zapper's really not sure what to make of him being in a similar situation but with killing. She doesn't even have a handle on THIS situation.]

Yeah, red bottle with a Drink Me tag. Also very whimsical.
violetlies: Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity (right up 'til ya spill)

[personal profile] violetlies 2023-01-04 05:18 am (UTC)(link)
That's basically my go-to for anything. Boundless confidence. [Kokichi tilts his head.] Yours is red? Mine was yellow. [Interesting. He's noting that in the back of his head...]

[His cat ears pop out from his head, and his cat tail pops out from behind him.]

Anyway. You should try it. It's fun.
lightguns: (I long to spend)

[personal profile] lightguns 2023-01-04 07:04 pm (UTC)(link)
[is he telling her he drank a catboy potion. She is too online for this.]

Whoa, careful little boy. You might wind up participating in our overlord's fetish!

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virtuell: (pic#14214214)

Into The Fire

[personal profile] virtuell 2023-01-04 12:13 am (UTC)(link)
[ There are so many things wrong here, he doesn't even know where to start. Tieria stares between Zapper and the frog, his brows furrowed as he contemplates whether it would be conscionable to simply walk away.

Unfortunately, the fire is big and the answer appears to be no. ]


There are many aspects of this place that lead one to question their reality and you choose the fire?

[ He is not taking this frog. It seems like the frog is the last string tying this woman to sanity. Also he just doesn't want to hold a frog. ]

Nobody's 'gotta' receive third degree burns to test this. You stay right where you are.
lightguns: (the days turn into nights)

[personal profile] lightguns 2023-01-04 04:49 pm (UTC)(link)
It's more like I choose everything. I already played with lightning in my hands. Fought angels. Challenged the Labyrinth and found Kermit here...

[ he's right about its tether to her sanity and Zapper will be very grateful to him and it later I'm sure. She shivers again.]

But it's so freezing here. I feel blank... nothing... Can't fuckin stand it!

[unfortunately, the tether can only work so well, since if he won't take it, she can always just put it down. She's already looking around now for a place it wouldn't get trampled]
virtuell: (pic#14213650)

[personal profile] virtuell 2023-01-05 12:19 am (UTC)(link)
[ The frog really seems like the least questionable aspect of it all, but they can have a discussion about plausibility sometime later. He sees those wandering eyes and decides that currently he has two priorities: keep the frog on the woman and get the woman away from open fire.

What a day.

Step one is bodily putting himself between Zapper and the bonfire, which only convinces Tieria further that the heat behind him is very very real. ]


The only relief stepping into this can offer you is immense pain. It's not a worthwhile trade-of. Why don't we go to the inn and find you some blankets instead?
lightguns: (I long to spend)

[personal profile] lightguns 2023-01-05 02:06 am (UTC)(link)
[those sure are her pupils constricting as she resists the sudden urge to just tackle this guy in with her! She takes a step back, finally a little scared of herself.]

Th... The inn is the angels' spawn point. Just wind up colder going there. And it's not enough -

[what could be enough? Touching the person who just got that close feels tempting but she's sure not trusting that impulse after the first one]
trenchdoting: (lost)

Snow Angels

[personal profile] trenchdoting 2023-01-04 01:59 pm (UTC)(link)
[A scruffy-looking detective comes across the battle and stops in his tracks at the bizarre scene.]

What in the world's going on here...

[Give him a second to figure out who he's supposed to be helping!]
lightguns: (the lights all disappear)

[personal profile] lightguns 2023-01-04 06:17 pm (UTC)(link)
[It's honestly impressive how much his look screams detective. So much that Zapper immediately mutters] Oh great, it's the fuzz.

[ outdated slang and she might have said worse if he wasn't also so fuzzy looking! You never want the Police to arrive when you are shouting DIE at something (as much as her getting arrested would be the funniest outcome here). On the other hand, turns out the swords aren't even real metal so her advantage was imagined and it's been purely her skill at aiming with those itchy trigger fingers getting her through. The angel gains on her, and loath that she is to admit, she does need help and does not have time to explain]

You just gonna stand there?! Dumbass! Move!

[It's dangerous to him to loiter around too. The angel is shouting its demands for warmth though, so that should provide context - "GIVE! ME! WARMTH!" it says, but Zapper is in shorts and a T-Shirt, she doesn't have much to spare here. That bra it's got on was the best she could do without stripping down!]
trenchdoting: (sweatdrops)

[personal profile] trenchdoting 2023-01-05 05:50 am (UTC)(link)
[Considering that his style looks like botched recreation of a noir detective, outdated slang feels fitting. He finds himself subconsciously rubbing his stubble with his hands as he watches the battle unfold, wide-eyed.

It's not hard to tell who the attacker is in this situation - and the motive, judging by the angel's demands. Still, the girl's own outburst takes Gumshoe by surprise, and he winces before moving.]


N-no, of course not, I was just... mentally preparing myself! Yeah, that's it pal!

[That and trying to figure out what the hell is going on! That weird angel is wearing a bra. Of course, now that Gumshoe knows who to target, it's a matter of how to do so. He doesn't have any weapons on him... so he picks up some snowballs and tries lobbing them at the angel.]

Hey you there, find your own warmth! Just, not from either of us, okay?
lightguns: (and they cut the ground)

[personal profile] lightguns 2023-01-06 08:15 am (UTC)(link)
[Gumshoe just threw a bunch of snowballs at an angel made of ice and snow. Needless to say, the attack is pretty much just absorbed. If anything, she looks a little more muscular now!! And her response: "COLD! HOW COLD OF YOU BOTH... AND COLD YOU SHALL BE!"]

Oh shit-

[Once again, since Zapper is a Gamer™, she can recognize a Line That Telegraphs An Attack, and so she manages to jump to the side in time to avoid being completely impaled as the angel lunges forth with the sword. She still gets cut though, and it keeps flying past her toward Gumshoe now - he's still warm, after all! It has also done him no favors for Zapper's impression of the Fuzz, but she's pissed enough at the angel that she's going to ignore the cold spreading from her wound to take the opportunity and shoot the target in the back. Zapping the wing at least seems to send her off course, though she's swinging wildly so she can't tell if he got hit or not. She's assuming not, though... he's wearing a lot more layers than her, so it shouldn't have been enough to cut flesh unless he was very unlucky. ...Therefore she's still gonna trash talk.]

What was that!! Did you not drink your potion?

[Zapper still doesn't really know what every potential effect of them is, but hers let her fight, and she's sure she can't be the only one. Whatever he had must have been better than snowballs!

Also, for some reason, she feels compelled to rush closer to him...?]
trenchdoting: (shocked)

[personal profile] trenchdoting 2023-01-06 02:45 pm (UTC)(link)
[It seemed like a good idea at the time. To be fair, many things seem like good ideas to Gumshoe in one moment before a swift realization in the following moment! He gapes as he realizes that he just made the angel more buff.]

...M-my bad!!

[Okay, maybe not the best way to prove he can be reliable! But je doesn't have much time to follow up initially as the angel comes right at him with its sword! He frantically tried moving to the side. And he manages to be just lucky enough that the sword pierces his coat while missing his flesh.

As he pulls away from the monster, he frantically tries to think of what to do next!]


Of course I drank it, pal! I... I think it made me able to do stuff with the ground? ...But I dunno if it'll be much help!

[Still, he tries to focus! He makes the groumd rumble, and some pieces of earth jut up, just the right size for tripping anyone up! ...Also oh, now she's coming right by him! This is fine.]
lightguns: (I long to spend)

[personal profile] lightguns 2023-01-06 05:35 pm (UTC)(link)
Ground stuff?! [Damn he's right, that doesn't sound like it'll help! The angel is flying after all... unlike her, running at full speed his direction.

Attacks from below are one thing she doesn't have any reflexes against - lightgun shooters are on rails so you don't really have to think about where you're standing most of the time. So the slapstick comedy continues. She is now falling at full speed in his direction.]


I SHOULDN'T HAVE AAAASKED!!

[...But actually, it looks like the rumbling might come in handy after all. The angel can't fly for too long with its heavy snow body, and Gumshoe dodging has made its balance even more tilted. So when it lands on the ground with intention to start reforming its wing, the shaking immediately causes it to fall on its side with a big SPLAT instead. Several of its body parts on that side shatter at the same time. Nice.]

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le_neuvieme: (pose as a team cuz...)

Snow Angels omg she looks like they could be besties

[personal profile] le_neuvieme 2023-01-06 06:31 pm (UTC)(link)
[as Zapper is taking potshots at the angel and wishing it would expire, a tall, broad-shouldered woman in black robes with short hair comes around the corner, drawn by the sound of a fight. A grin splits the smudged skull paint on her face as she bends, picks up a rock, and hurls it at the angel. It takes a chunk out of one wing, drawing attention]

Look at me, bitch, I'm a distraction!
lightguns: (the lights all disappear)

tall and short foul mouthed gingers, let's goooo

[personal profile] lightguns 2023-01-06 11:47 pm (UTC)(link)
[The loss of its wing certainly DOES draw the angel's attention! And with Zapper making it so hard to hit her, and the much heavier clothes the interloper is wearing, it wails in frustration and immediately begins gliding toward her as a much better target. "HOW DAaAaRE YOU... WARMTH MUST NOT BE SPARED!"

Zapper on the other hand is thrilled to be joined by this total badass. Still focused on the fight though, first things first.]


Yeah, QQ more! [Now that it's distracted, she can chase it and hit with the sparks more directly. That seems to have done the trick, blowing its sword arm clean off - the weapon shattering on impact with the ground.]
le_neuvieme: (Default)

[personal profile] le_neuvieme 2023-01-08 04:36 pm (UTC)(link)
[Gideon has no idea what QQ more means, but context clues are telling her "do that again", which she's happy to comply with. Unfortunately, as she's bending down to grab another rock, the angel gets closer and makes another snatch at her, cold fingers scraping the hem of her cowl.]

At least buy me dinner first, asshole!

[she looks over its ruined shoulder at the ground and lets out a wail of disappointment even as she's driving her head into the thing's stomach to push it back]

Goddammit, I really wanted that sword!
lightguns: (up up down down left right left right)

[personal profile] lightguns 2023-01-12 05:06 am (UTC)(link)
[Why is it so persistent even with its arm off!! ...Probably a question the angel is asking itself as it gets headbutted in the stomach, in all honesty. It bursts into a flurry of snow and blows away. Change da world, my final message, good bye... including the shards of the broken sword. Zapper has no idea why she wants it, but whatever.]

Shit, my bad. You want me to buy you dinner? Better than that literally broke bitch!

[Though, brute force is the method it's supposed to recover from the easiest, so the angel is going to swirl into being again a few steps away. With the sword back in tact, even.]

Oh, what the hell?
sunfishpocket: (pic#16186545)

Into the Fire (mild AiSom: Nirvana Initiative spoilers hinted at)

[personal profile] sunfishpocket 2023-01-11 03:30 pm (UTC)(link)
[It's the out-of-it look in the stranger's eyes that starts the small alarm siren in Amame's mind. It's when she tries to hand her the frog that that small alarm siren escalates to an air raid siren. This adventure from where she was has been odd enough, but the past apparently has decided to revisit her all at once.]

N--No!

[It's probably not real anyway.

She immediately grabs her arm and tugs her back.]


That's a REAL fire and you'll get REALLY hurt, I promise! Don't go in!!!

[The words TC-PERGE envelop her mind.]
lightguns: (another 30 lives with you)

mumble mumble AINI spoilers as well

[personal profile] lightguns 2023-01-12 04:37 am (UTC)(link)
[Why will no one love Kermit!! It's leaping away as its buddy is jerked over in a sudden motion.

TC-PERGE is a solid guess given the circumstances, huh? At least "making mistakes" doesn't exactly sound like how a NAIX member would put it. Zapper is frustrated to be challenged. The solution to her problems is there, why won't anyone cooperate!]


It ain't though! Just from a little exploring, I blacked the fuck out and woke up randomly elsewhere like some cracked out speedrun glitch. And hurt? I'm already busted! My body's been frozen numb for at least two hours, can't feel anything to begin wi-

[She starts to pull her arm back, but wait. She's blinking twice and squinting at Amame's hands. Those flames that were dangerously close to catching her just felt invitingly tingly to her, but her hands - they actually feel warm to her. Exceptionally faint, enough that she could almost just dismiss it as psychosomatic, a mere memory of warmth. Still enough to keep her from struggling a brief moment, while Zapper's shivers become apparent to the girl holding on and her eyes start to lose focus again.]

Ugh, god, I didn't wanna burn out already... what the hell is wrong with me?
sunfishpocket: (pic#16186540)

[personal profile] sunfishpocket 2023-01-21 03:46 pm (UTC)(link)
[It doesn't sound exactly like NAIX, but it's enough to give her a flicker of fear - something unfortunately tangible and real in the midst of dreams...though she does feel for the poor frog. Sorry Kermit.

She takes a deep breath in.]


Yes, I...I woke up here, too. No rhyme or reason as to why, apart from a deal...with someone.

[She wished for freedom. It always comes down to an unfortunate wish of hers, doesn't it? She purses her lips, but shes tries to direct Zapper away from the blaze.]

...I'd say it's magic. Which doesn't seem very realistic, but nothing in this situation does. You can sit with me. Maybe that'll help.
lightguns: (and they cut the ground)

[personal profile] lightguns 2023-01-21 04:15 pm (UTC)(link)
[admitting nothing seems realistic is perhaps not the wisest move here, so Zapper groans at this magic thing. Yeah, people can be magic. IN THEIR DREAMS!]

Then how the hell are you so sure? You seem nice and all, but sometimes you gotta call a spade a spade...

[she will sit though, it'll let Kermit catch up]