He thinks Li Lianhua is in fact unaware and he's almost certainly right; he doesn't even fully know, himself, what exactly he thinks has been taken from him this time, but it's not even the point in the first place. For this one thing, they could share the blame, because he did say it was his mistake. If Li Lianhua feels guilt, maybe he should do something more worthwhile with it than dying. Why even give him an opening he didn't want when that was a complete sentence needing no elaboration.

This close to the water's edge, he can let some of the tension drain out of his posture, though he still isn't looking at Li Lianhua just in case. There's no sense of ease to it, just an unexpected window into some fraying fatigue or grief. “The last time I saw you was when I made the mistake. I still don't know if it was the only time.”