I know what that's like, too. Wanting and trying so hard to forget something because remembering is painful. Then later realizing there's so much more you've lost.

[Natsume squeezed Reiner's hand in sympathy. He couldn't help but think of the photo he had of his parents, and how much it had hurt to imagine a life where they had lived. One where they could have all been in that photo together.]

Thankfully the spell on me was able to be reversed, and I remembered everything when I woke up. I'd had good friends able to take care of me, and new memories with them that I can look back on. I sort of hope it works out that way for you... That even if the spell wears off and you go back to feeling like you did before, you'll still be able to look back and remember how you feel now... Maybe even find a way to get back to it on your own.